Hell On Earth

Stacy taking a nap because it takes so long to get through this place

A sign I never want to see again

An idea of the awful blue and yellow the building is painted with

Me looking like I'd rather die

A sign of impending doom

Let me tell you about the worst place on the planet: Ikea! I couldn't possibly do justice to how truly horrific this place with is just words, but I'm going to try. Picture, if you will, the worst aspects of Wal-Mart and a Las Vegas casino combined into one awful experience. Think of the people you generally see at Wal-Mart (i.e. look like they have been exported directly from Arkansas no matter what part of the country you live in) and add to that a casino-like scenario where there are no windows, no clocks, and no way out--once you enter, there is literally just once exit and you have to traverse the whole maze just to get there.

Now keep that in mind while trying to imagine a place at least ten times bigger than any Wal-Mart you've ever been to (this place looks like it should literally have its own zip code) and painted in the tackiest blue and yellow have ever seen. If this little description keeps you awake at night because of its nightmarish posibilities, I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet. Once you pick out the item you want to purchase on the showroom floor, you have to go back into a warehouse, find it by its barcode, and take it home to construct it yourself! The first time I went there, I swore I would never go back. But Stacy wanted to go this past week to pick up a few things so along I went like a little fool completely forgeting just how brutal my first experience was. Oh the things we do for love.