So does anyone else feel like it's Christmas Eve? That could just be me since the NBA season tips off tomorrow, but needless to say I probably won't sleep very well tonight. At about 7:30 Pacific time my favorite--and my wife's least favorite--time of year will officially get under way. The Jazz take on the Golden State Warriors in a repeat of last year's second round playoff matchup (which the Jazz handily won). I'm excited for this year's team and think they could at least replicate last year's regular season performance though I don't think they will go as far in the playoffs. A few predictions:
- Deron will continue to emerge as one of the best PG's in the game
- Booz will continue to be an offensive beast and an empty shirt on D
- AK will be better than last year (how could he not?)
- Brewer will be a massive upgrade at the 2 (poor jumpshot and all)
- Memo will add some post-up game so teams can no longer defend him with wings
- Memo and Yeliz will again post the largest ugly/hot differential of any couple in the league (unless Sam Cassell is married to anything resembling a human in which case he would win by default)
- Harp will blow more uncontested layups than any other player in the NBA and end the season in a wheelchair
- Harp will be my official scapegoat for all the Jazz woes; even when he's not playing, I'll blame all the Jazz misfortune on his ridiculous contract
- Jarron will lead the league in flops per minute
- This will be the first year Jarron attempts to jump and never actually leaves the ground
- Gira will get called for the Euro travel at least once per game
- Hart will at times remind us of Milt Palacio
- Price will have some explosive dunks but show that he has little to no PG skills and is basically just a midget 2
- CJ will play defense like he took classes on lateral movement from Jarron Collins and Oliver Miller
- Almond will play less minutes than he should and will probably lose time to a midget 2 (Price)
- Fess will play most of the year in Orem (though he's probably already better than Collins) and lead the league in entertaining quotes
- Deron and Booz will make the AS game
- My wife will lose her mind at least once during the season
- I will say the F bomb more times than I do at any other point in the year (including BYU football season)
- My wife will say the F bomb at me at least once
- Gardner will call me courtside from at least two arenas
- Ster will at some point get us both divorced by buying League Pass
- Rett will send me numerous text messages with language too colorful for children
- Rett will again tell me that Jerry Sloan is his favorite player on the Jazz
- Sloan will play at least one rotation that will make you wonder if he's ever coached a basketball game
- I will break at least one remote control during the course of the year
- My wife will break more things than that
- I will be thankful every night I go to sleep knowing that Derek Fisher is no longer on the team
- Derek Fisher will be my favorite player to watch run the fastbreak in the entire league now that he doesn't play for the Jazz (Fisher on a break with numbers has to rank a solid 10 on the unintentional comedy scale)
- ABells will ask me if I have stat for everything at least once
- Dad will watch one call go against the Jazz and tell me the NBA is worst than professional wrestling and that he's never watching another game
- Trav Dogg will continue to insist that JJ Redick is the best shooter on the planet
- Keem will officially get engaged to Lebron James
- Grandma Henderson will watch all televised games (a real fan that woman is)
- My cousin Brett will inevitably mention that he's no longer a Jazz fan because they didn't sign Britton Johnsen
- I will get at least five post-game phone calls after a big win (typical culprits will include Keem, Dad, Jason, Rett, Ster, Steve and Travis)
- Stacy will threaten to cancel my cell phone
- Stacy and I'll will attend all games the Jazz play in Seattle and she'll ask me why we have to go an hour and a half early at least ten times
- As long as Stacy has some sort of delectable food item in her hands during the game she will be content
- As soon as said food item is gone Stacy will repeatedly ask "Is the game almost over yet?"
- The Jazz will win 52-55 games this year
- The Jazz will lose in the 2nd round
2 months ago
10 comments:
WOW, That was a mouth full!
As I was reading, I had so many comments to make but I lost track due to the ever so long list. I loved most of your list but I will have to disagree on the Derrik Fisher comment. I will have Jake read this when he gets back in town, he will appreciate it. He is sooo excited that we are going to the opening game this week and he went and bought a jersey for himself and both of our girls.
Let me know when you come in town and we would love to take you to a game!
is this post for real?
I had a dream last night that Deron had 7 assists in the first quarter. I thought he was going to beat this personal record: http://youtube.com/watch?v=B35bkcatzRw
This post is very "for real." A text message to Casey from Hendu during a close play-off game: "I'm nervous as shit." We laughed our heads off. I always say it now in any stressful sports situation!
Love the post! Stacy's a good woman!
Allready got my tix for the Garden. I have yet to see the Jazz win in NY. This is the year it happens. Love the post. I was thinking of a Jazz themed entry myself. This will cause me to do it.
Would anyone like to trade husbands?? Seriously, I am humiliated!!
Stacy
Seriously... I had to take a break when reading this because I kept getting lost as to where I was BECAUSE IT WAS SO LONG. Just kidding!
Go Jazz!
Stacy... if I had a husband I would trade with you. LOL
The fact that nobody in the NBA could tell that referee was throwing games last year is justification enough for me that "the integrity of the NBA is slightly above professional wrestling". I will not watch another game!!!!!
Aaron says he will trade Me for Tyler.
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